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  • From God’s Perspective. (FULL SHOW will be on YouTube/Netflix 12.17.13)

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    The books you think I wrote are way too thick.
    Who needs a thousand metaphors to figure out you shouldn’t be a dick?
    And I don’t watch you when you sleep.
    Surprisingly, I don’t use my omnipotence to be a fucking creep.

    You’re not going to heaven.
    Why the fuck would you think Id ever kick it with you?
    None of you are going to heaven.
    There’s a trillion aliens cooler than you.

    You shouldn’t abstain from rape just because you think that I want you to.
    You shouldn’t rape because rape is a fucked up thing to do.

    I don’t think masturbation is obscene.
    Its absolutely natural and the weirdest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.
    You make my job a living hell.
    I sent gays to fix overpopulation and boy did that go well.

    You’re not going to heaven.
    Eat a thousand crackers, sing a million hymns.
    None of you are going to heaven.
    You’re not my children you’re a bad games of Sims.

    You shouldn’t abstain from pork just ’cause you think that I want you to.
    You can eat pork, because why the fuck would I give a shit?

    You argue and you bicker and you fight.
    Atheists and Catholics, Jews and Hindus argue day and night
    over what they think is true.
    But no one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you.

    You pray so badly for heaven,
    knowing any day might be the day that you die
    but maybe life on earth could be heaven.
    Doesn’t just the thought of it make it worth the try?

    My love is the type of thing that you have to earn
    And when you earn it, you won’t need it. (2x)

    I’m not going to give you love just ’cause I know that you want me to.
    If you want love then the love is gonna come from you.

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